Even though I had a good night sleep in my new bed and woke up quite late I could not stop the felling of a most awkward tiredness trough the morning. I went to town center with my girlfriend to have a cup of coffee with her new collage friend after which they both went to class. I had the utmost will to stay in town for another cup but simply couldnt stand on my feet so I went back home.
It is an amazing sunny day and maybe now that I had lunch I might find the strength to go for a walk later. For lunch I used the home cooked gnocchi my mom sent me yesterday and made a wonderful sauce with baby spinach, soy cream and Fior del monte cheese.... It was devine and I am cooking it again for my girlfriend.
ponedjeljak, 6. listopada 2008.
četvrtak, 2. listopada 2008.
A New Home
You remember the blog I posted last year about my neighborhood being a construction mecca? Well, who would have thought I am going to end up in one of the buildings that then were a construction site.
Last week I moved in one of the new buildings and can just say that it is an amazing apartment located on the sunny side of the building facing what is left of the beautiful neighborhood park. It is a two bedroom place with a beautiful an spacious living room and a small kitchen me and my friend furnished with my former kitchen from Zadar. Not much space but it looks quite nice. Each room has enormous new windows so the whole place is illuminated throughout the day.
I haven't managed to take a picture of the view or the apartment jet but will soon enough. Its a pity I haven't done it yesterday since we had a beautiful sunny day and it is quite cloudy today.
Another important thing is that I set my heart on a new snowboard and can't stop thinking about it. It is fascinating how my mind works once I become fascinated about a thing and desire to have it so much. It's like I concentrate my entire energy, patience, wit and mind on acquiring it... and it works each time. It is going to be a Burton Custom 157 ICS model, which is by far the best and most expensive model I am going to buy. It has a different binding technology, which is more simple and easier to manage from the old 3D system you had to screw down your borard.
I simply cant wate!
Last week I moved in one of the new buildings and can just say that it is an amazing apartment located on the sunny side of the building facing what is left of the beautiful neighborhood park. It is a two bedroom place with a beautiful an spacious living room and a small kitchen me and my friend furnished with my former kitchen from Zadar. Not much space but it looks quite nice. Each room has enormous new windows so the whole place is illuminated throughout the day.
I haven't managed to take a picture of the view or the apartment jet but will soon enough. Its a pity I haven't done it yesterday since we had a beautiful sunny day and it is quite cloudy today.
Another important thing is that I set my heart on a new snowboard and can't stop thinking about it. It is fascinating how my mind works once I become fascinated about a thing and desire to have it so much. It's like I concentrate my entire energy, patience, wit and mind on acquiring it... and it works each time. It is going to be a Burton Custom 157 ICS model, which is by far the best and most expensive model I am going to buy. It has a different binding technology, which is more simple and easier to manage from the old 3D system you had to screw down your borard.
I simply cant wate!
četvrtak, 18. rujna 2008.
Do I burn this bridge and call it a life lesson
The day has come, and after a day of arguing about it, my soon to be ex/future girlfriend is coming to me. I can't wait to see her since we hat the biggest fight of out 9 month relationship and were bound to be apart for a long time before we talk to each other let alone see each other.
After deciding that we are going to give it another fare chance I had a week of clear thinking and am still not sure in what I want or what to do. I am simply terrified of going trough this one more time and I have less and less faith in the thought that she is the right girl for me. But I love her, I love her more than I loved anyone, I love her enough to see for myself if things can turn out to be OK, even if it means making the biggest mistake possible. It is a risk worthy of taking.
After deciding that we are going to give it another fare chance I had a week of clear thinking and am still not sure in what I want or what to do. I am simply terrified of going trough this one more time and I have less and less faith in the thought that she is the right girl for me. But I love her, I love her more than I loved anyone, I love her enough to see for myself if things can turn out to be OK, even if it means making the biggest mistake possible. It is a risk worthy of taking.
utorak, 16. rujna 2008.
It is cold
Huh, what a cold breeze overwhelmed me this morning. It is so long Summer and hello Fall, and such a sudden change.
I felt the need to buy a book this morning so I went to a local book store and both Black Swan, the only title that popped out of the pile of books. I wanted to buy The Wealth of Nations from Adam Smith for a bargain price of 50 Kunas but ended up being reluctant toward the idea. I needed something entertaining and am not abundant enough with money to be able to buy both titles.
I also managed to persuade my mom to buy me Vans High Old School shoes I wanted online. I simply love them and hope they fit me well once they arrive. I also decided that I am going to buy a new deck for my snowboard and simply fell in love with the new Burton Deuce model... Huh, now it is only a mater of funds and I'll be demolishing everything unfortunate enough to get in my way... Sweet!
ponedjeljak, 15. rujna 2008.
Sorrow
My girlfriend and first true love broke up with me on Wednesday and I felt the sorrow rushing trough my entire body from that moment on. We were having quite a few fights over matters that really didn't matter, and the whole thing culminated on the night of her birthday. It was truly a wonderful three days since I came to Zadar. We had such a great time, and I will never forget the sparkle in her eye the morning of her B day when she seen me on her doorstep holding a heart shaped Tiramisu cake. It even had the candles lit on so she can make a wish... I only hoped that wish was that we can be together happily ever after.
Sadly the truth was she was no longer feeling the same. She was hoping thing were going to get better once we came back to Zagreb together. I noticed the changes and they keep bothering me, but I never thought things would end that night, at lest not after all we've been trough and all the magical time we spent together.
I got mad that night over something stupid all out of jealousy and ended up saying to her to call me when she starts feeling the same again and went home. The next morning I gave her back the key she had given me. The key that opened her heart for me and I found my self on the bus to Zagreb.
The next few days were an agony comprised of with tears, sorrow and disbelief that a think so beautiful could end so abruptly.
I wanted a second chance to make things better but she thought it was not fear toward me if after giving me that chance she again ended up feeling the same and going to the sorrowful brake up again.
Yesterday she called me and told me she wants to come to Zagreb and wants to see for her self if things can go back to the way they were. She told me that the pain of loosing me was too strong and she never cried over someone for three day, everything reminding her of me...
I told her I was ready to take that risk but am frightened of the outcome, I am terrified of going trough this again. Is it fair towards me?
Sadly the truth was she was no longer feeling the same. She was hoping thing were going to get better once we came back to Zagreb together. I noticed the changes and they keep bothering me, but I never thought things would end that night, at lest not after all we've been trough and all the magical time we spent together.
I got mad that night over something stupid all out of jealousy and ended up saying to her to call me when she starts feeling the same again and went home. The next morning I gave her back the key she had given me. The key that opened her heart for me and I found my self on the bus to Zagreb.
The next few days were an agony comprised of with tears, sorrow and disbelief that a think so beautiful could end so abruptly.
I wanted a second chance to make things better but she thought it was not fear toward me if after giving me that chance she again ended up feeling the same and going to the sorrowful brake up again.
Yesterday she called me and told me she wants to come to Zagreb and wants to see for her self if things can go back to the way they were. She told me that the pain of loosing me was too strong and she never cried over someone for three day, everything reminding her of me...
I told her I was ready to take that risk but am frightened of the outcome, I am terrified of going trough this again. Is it fair towards me?
nedjelja, 31. kolovoza 2008.
Why all the pressure?
From all the things pressuring me lately, college, future, job, friends, love, family, like there is anything left to name, I don't understand how people can be so unconsiderable and bring more pressure in my life. I struggle trough these day with a huge rock on my heart and it seems that contrary to the laws of physics, the rock is getting bigger and heavier each day, with my closest ones contributing to my pain, my love and family.
I just want a day without pressure and worries, but this seems so unbelievable and far away. I will give my best to overcome these obstacles in life because I am not a quitter rather a fighter and straggler. I will make it!
I just want a day without pressure and worries, but this seems so unbelievable and far away. I will give my best to overcome these obstacles in life because I am not a quitter rather a fighter and straggler. I will make it!
subota, 30. kolovoza 2008.
By Heart
I am struggling with one of my two exams for the second time and am frustrated with the obsolete and inefficient exam method my professor demand. The concept of the exam is based on three essay questions from the material he provided. The reading brick consists of certain titles and explanations that are used as questions in the exam. Bottom line, you need to learn almost all of it by heart and write it in the test in order to get a good grade.
I already passed the test and got the lowest grade. I did try to increase my grade with a oral exam but was reluctantly rejected and told to come in September. So here I am 6 days til the exam, pulling my hair, frustrated and pessimistic about the outcome. Plus, I miss my love... Can things get any worse?
I already passed the test and got the lowest grade. I did try to increase my grade with a oral exam but was reluctantly rejected and told to come in September. So here I am 6 days til the exam, pulling my hair, frustrated and pessimistic about the outcome. Plus, I miss my love... Can things get any worse?
srijeda, 27. kolovoza 2008.
What is going to become of me
Being back in Zagreb and aware that my student days are almost over gives me the shivers every time I think about it. Soon enough I will have to make important decisions that will definitely affect my life in the near future for quite some time, maybe even lifelong.
I am still not sure what I want in life right now... One thing a am sure is that I am still just a kid, a kid that still wants to be a student, and once people around start pouring in pressure and want you to decide upon your future, that kid gets stressed out and just wants to say "Fuck off!!" to the World and continue to be a immature brat dependent and stressless. I understand that the days of immaturity are over and were over for me a long time ago, and if I was a lest bit immature and childish I wouldn't be in this position right now. My lifestyle, morals, beliefs, music I listen to and people I revere tell me otherwise. It is one life, one chance, you got to do it right.
I am still not sure what I want in life right now... One thing a am sure is that I am still just a kid, a kid that still wants to be a student, and once people around start pouring in pressure and want you to decide upon your future, that kid gets stressed out and just wants to say "Fuck off!!" to the World and continue to be a immature brat dependent and stressless. I understand that the days of immaturity are over and were over for me a long time ago, and if I was a lest bit immature and childish I wouldn't be in this position right now. My lifestyle, morals, beliefs, music I listen to and people I revere tell me otherwise. It is one life, one chance, you got to do it right.
utorak, 4. ožujka 2008.
The Presidential Campaign Conundrum
Looks like Hillary Clinton puled it of in Ohio and managed to stay in the race for the White House alongside Barack Obama. Another unexpected outcome occurred lately in what was largely written off as a dead campaign this summer, Senator McCain made a sudden turn back, winning both Ohio, Texas and Rhode Island. This way McCain became the supposed Republican party nominee for the Presidential Race.
No mater who the final nominees for the Presidential campaign are, on both the Republican and Democrat side, as long as we put the Idiot Son of an Asshole out of the Office, we are bound to have more prosperous days ahead.
I'll be complete tomorrow
My love is coming tomorrow and words cannot describe the happiness and joy I feel right now. I've missed her from the moment we were separated when I left towards Zagreb. Not a lot of days have passed since than, but still, I feel complete once she is in my arms. We are going to have a perfect weekend, involving nice, home cooked meals, sex, Chagall's exhibition, a hockey game and more sex... I am shivering.
I think I will prolong my Gym membership and start working out, starting tomorrow. I feel like I need more strength and, exam season starting soon, I will need some exercise to keep my body fit. I will probably start early morning, just before lectures tomorrow, which start around 11am. After lectures I will head for the bus station and be happy again.
ponedjeljak, 3. ožujka 2008.
The Scribbling Continues
After taking a long brake from writing, since I started dating my darling girlfriend to be precise, I decided to continue and give it another shot. A lot of things happened in the past few months and I will try to be brief about the important segments, like dating the most beautiful girl in the world and going to London for a 18 month internship. Basically, everything that I expected came out real nice in the end...
Gotta run now, the last semester in my undergraduate course started and I have 6 more exams to pass after the semester is over. There are 6 subjects I need to attend on a weekly basis and Thursday is quite busy....
Talk to you later
Gotta run now, the last semester in my undergraduate course started and I have 6 more exams to pass after the semester is over. There are 6 subjects I need to attend on a weekly basis and Thursday is quite busy....
Talk to you later
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