The day has come, and after a day of arguing about it, my soon to be ex/future girlfriend is coming to me. I can't wait to see her since we hat the biggest fight of out 9 month relationship and were bound to be apart for a long time before we talk to each other let alone see each other.
After deciding that we are going to give it another fare chance I had a week of clear thinking and am still not sure in what I want or what to do. I am simply terrified of going trough this one more time and I have less and less faith in the thought that she is the right girl for me. But I love her, I love her more than I loved anyone, I love her enough to see for myself if things can turn out to be OK, even if it means making the biggest mistake possible. It is a risk worthy of taking.
četvrtak, 18. rujna 2008.
utorak, 16. rujna 2008.
It is cold
Huh, what a cold breeze overwhelmed me this morning. It is so long Summer and hello Fall, and such a sudden change.
I felt the need to buy a book this morning so I went to a local book store and both Black Swan, the only title that popped out of the pile of books. I wanted to buy The Wealth of Nations from Adam Smith for a bargain price of 50 Kunas but ended up being reluctant toward the idea. I needed something entertaining and am not abundant enough with money to be able to buy both titles.
I also managed to persuade my mom to buy me Vans High Old School shoes I wanted online. I simply love them and hope they fit me well once they arrive. I also decided that I am going to buy a new deck for my snowboard and simply fell in love with the new Burton Deuce model... Huh, now it is only a mater of funds and I'll be demolishing everything unfortunate enough to get in my way... Sweet!
ponedjeljak, 15. rujna 2008.
Sorrow
My girlfriend and first true love broke up with me on Wednesday and I felt the sorrow rushing trough my entire body from that moment on. We were having quite a few fights over matters that really didn't matter, and the whole thing culminated on the night of her birthday. It was truly a wonderful three days since I came to Zadar. We had such a great time, and I will never forget the sparkle in her eye the morning of her B day when she seen me on her doorstep holding a heart shaped Tiramisu cake. It even had the candles lit on so she can make a wish... I only hoped that wish was that we can be together happily ever after.
Sadly the truth was she was no longer feeling the same. She was hoping thing were going to get better once we came back to Zagreb together. I noticed the changes and they keep bothering me, but I never thought things would end that night, at lest not after all we've been trough and all the magical time we spent together.
I got mad that night over something stupid all out of jealousy and ended up saying to her to call me when she starts feeling the same again and went home. The next morning I gave her back the key she had given me. The key that opened her heart for me and I found my self on the bus to Zagreb.
The next few days were an agony comprised of with tears, sorrow and disbelief that a think so beautiful could end so abruptly.
I wanted a second chance to make things better but she thought it was not fear toward me if after giving me that chance she again ended up feeling the same and going to the sorrowful brake up again.
Yesterday she called me and told me she wants to come to Zagreb and wants to see for her self if things can go back to the way they were. She told me that the pain of loosing me was too strong and she never cried over someone for three day, everything reminding her of me...
I told her I was ready to take that risk but am frightened of the outcome, I am terrified of going trough this again. Is it fair towards me?
Sadly the truth was she was no longer feeling the same. She was hoping thing were going to get better once we came back to Zagreb together. I noticed the changes and they keep bothering me, but I never thought things would end that night, at lest not after all we've been trough and all the magical time we spent together.
I got mad that night over something stupid all out of jealousy and ended up saying to her to call me when she starts feeling the same again and went home. The next morning I gave her back the key she had given me. The key that opened her heart for me and I found my self on the bus to Zagreb.
The next few days were an agony comprised of with tears, sorrow and disbelief that a think so beautiful could end so abruptly.
I wanted a second chance to make things better but she thought it was not fear toward me if after giving me that chance she again ended up feeling the same and going to the sorrowful brake up again.
Yesterday she called me and told me she wants to come to Zagreb and wants to see for her self if things can go back to the way they were. She told me that the pain of loosing me was too strong and she never cried over someone for three day, everything reminding her of me...
I told her I was ready to take that risk but am frightened of the outcome, I am terrified of going trough this again. Is it fair towards me?
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